Tomorrow I am having a day off work. It might not be seen as massive blog worthy news because my work is nice and I do get time off work after all! The reason why I am blogging about it is because it’s the first time in a long time when I do not have any particular plans other than to catch up with home life.
I have normally only taken time off if I am going away on holiday or I have appointments. I always thought annual leave should be taken because of something happening and it’s taken as a norm that people will ask me what I am up to when I take some time off. The response of “nothing” is greeted with surprise normally in my experience but why should taking some time for me invoke some surprise?
I don’t blame people responding in that way. It’s a ‘normal response’ after all. Having lost a recent relative who meant the world to me, it really made me think about my life and how short life can be. It also taught me that it’s important to live life to the full but also recognise when it’s time to take a step back and slow down. Last time I lost someone close to me I moved jobs. I’m not intending to do that again but I am planning to re-evaluate what I spend time on and realise that it’s okay if I start to say no to things I am invited to, not because I have something else in the diary but because I need time for me. I think my nan who I lost will be looking at me and saying “Yes! finally” as she was constantly telling me I needed to slow down and not take on too much.
I’m not saying I won’t still rush around but I’m going to take the time to enjoy my flat, catch up on homely type stuff and sort out my priorities at home.I did take some time off volunteering for the past few months but I’m now ready to start looking at returning but this time I’m very aware of the need to not rush back into things and not at the same level I used to volunteer. Bodies and minds have a way of making it very clear when you need to slow down and I have always tended to ignore the signs. Maybe I’m finally growing up (!) as I am slowly starting to recognise that I need to start responding to those signs.
It’s quite painful for me to admit that I need to stop doing certain things as I love my life and the things in it but it’s the people in my life who suffer (like my husband!) when they have to cope with the fallout when I become too tired and start whinging. Here’s to the new mindful me.