Monthly Archives: September 2016

Living with a Muslim

I couldn’t think of a decent title so I have gone with the above for now but I might well change it. People who know me are aware I’m married to a Muslim man. I sometimes forget he is Muslim even though it is a big part of his identity. I don’t look at him and think “I’m married to a Muslim” unless I really think about things. I just think ” I’m married to Mohamed, my husband”.

I read lots of books about Islam when I married my husband. He bought quite a lot from the mosque and I think he was hoping I would convert but I haven’t and it’s unlikely I will. I do love living with him as he welcomes questions and I can talk to him about things openly that I probably wouldn’t with other people because he knows what I mean, even if I don’t!

The other day I asked him a few questions. I asked him whether he would love me more if I was a Muslim. He thought about it and said no, he loved me as I was and things wouldn’t change if I did convert. He did say it would probably make our relationship easier as we would have similar beliefs, we would be able to fast together and bring our children up in the same way.

I also asked him whether if I was a Muslim, he would expect me to wear a hijab. He said that it would depend. If we lived in Libya, his home country, he would expect me to wear a hijab because he wouldn’t want me to feel out of place and I would stand out if I didn’t wear one. He said in this country it would be my choice. He told me about a white British muslim (still trying to find the podcast) who was speaking about the hijab. She said (and I’m paraphrasing here), that she was proud to wear her hijab as it signified to the world that she was a Muslim and she was proud of that fact. Apart from the fact it is more noticeable, it made me think about the fact I wear a cross to signify I’m a Christian.

We have talked about the hijab before as some Muslims do wear it and others don’t. My husband explained that there is a passage which talks about covering up a part of a woman’s body but it didn’t specify the hair, it’s all about interpretation.

As a non Muslim I don’t think it’s my place to actively speak out about the hijab (even though I have a bit tonight!). It’s not for me but it’s every woman’s choice. I guess people think it isn’t though which is the reason why it is in the media but who are we to judge? I have more questions than answers but surely questioning and supporting is the way to approach anything in life rather than jumping to judgmental conclusions?