Monthly Archives: December 2017

Review of 2017

It seems a little premature to write this. After all there are still 4 days left of 2017. However, tonight is the night I am a little reflective meaning tonight is the night I write my review of 2017.

2017 has been a mixed bag. Personally it was shaping up to be a positive year or at least more positive than previous years.

I have become a car owner once more. This makes me happy because it enables me to be more independent. I have an amazing husband who will take me wherever I need to go, however there is something so positive in the ability to make that choice to go and visit friends and family when I choose to. I have reconnected with a few friends and hope to continue to reconnect with friends who are so valuable to my life but who I have neglected in 2017.

Until today I hadn’t lost anyone to illness. Today I say goodbye to my great uncle. A man who I didn’t see often but when I did, gave the best hugs and who I remember with fondness and love.

I don’t deal well with change but 2017 paved the way to a new job. I’m still a little shellshocked although I am grateful for the opportunity. Although I love my job, 2017 was the year I thought about a family and ultimately a job where I commute for 2 hours a day isn’t viable.

A family. I have written often about the pressure and obligation to become a mother. I fluctuate between knowing it is what I want to knowing that now is not the right time for me. But a new job will pave the way in time.

I want a career and I want a family but I have chosen to get settled in my career first and a family will follow. Some days I may say different but I am content with the decision I have made.

I have reconnected with friends and, somewhat sadly, lost touch with others. No big fall outs, no arguments, just a gentle silent acknowledgment that perhaps our friendship has changed. And that’s okay.

Others have become my constant friends. Those who are there no matter what. On WhatsApp at whatever time and who I can just be me with.

And through it all my husband. My family. Words cannot say how 2017 made it their year when they stepped up. Social media may show the rosy side of marriage. Marriage is hard. It is difficult. Around July this year it became particularly hard for me and my husband. Partly due to the fact I choose the self destruct mode every once in a while. He was there. He is there and I don’t write on social media about what he means to me because that is for me to know.

2017 has shown the worst side of humanity with the terrorist attacks in Manchester and London. It has shown the terrible effect of a fire. It has also shown the best.

So 2017. A year. I am hopeful 2018 will be better. And I will remember 2017 and learn from it.

Change is good but difficult

So, this week I discovered that I had a new job offer for the New Year. I am not a person that likes change. I cope with change but I don’t embrace it, I don’t like it.

I probably project a person that embraces change and life in general, you might think I’m optimistic all the time. The truth is I don’t like change and being optimistic is hard.

Yet earlier this week, I had a chance for change. It was difficult in one sense because I love my job, the people, the actual job. I wasn’t actively looking for change until one difficult commute too many. Then an opportunity to apply which I took. Then an interview. Then an offer.

The truth is though that when I stopped thinking about the job and the people, the decision was relatively simple to make. Closer to home. No more 2 hour (minimum) commute. Opportunities for growth and progression. A company that I’ve wanted to join since hearing my auntie speak about the company decades ago.

So, the New Year will bring an opportunity to support people into work. It’s something I feel strongly about because I’ll be helping those who want to work but have barriers to accessing employment. Working to me is more than just a job. It’s the social element, coming into contact with people I would never meet otherwise. It’s the knowledge I have my own money to do what I want with. A job is there to provide security if one day my husband figures out that I’m a nightmare to live with and it shouldn’t be this difficult.

I’m really excited now and maybe change will be good.