Two more sleeps

The last couple of weeks has been tough. This isn’t a blog post to encourage pity. It’s more about getting out the mass of whirling word in my head.

Two weeks ago my husband had to go back to his home country as his parents were in a car accident. Thankfully they are okay. During the 2 hours between my husband telling me about his parents to deciding to go to Libya, my heart was telling me to say to my husband he shouldn’t go. My slightly more unemotional brain which was the main driving force behind my words encouraged him to go. As he should.

It’s his parents. I can’t imagine what it is like for him to be away from his parents. I don’t live 2 minutes down the road from my family but the reality is that if anything happened I could hop in a car and be home within 2 hours.

The slightly selfish emotional part of me wanted him to stay. The truth is that however independent I am, my mental health and emotional state is better when he is with me.

It has made me appreciate more those around me. I’ve messaged some more than I would have done. I’m just very relieved he will be back on Sunday. It’s made me feel slightly scared of the impact my husband has on keeping my mental health on an even keel and it’s something I need to think about.

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