Monthly Archives: February 2021

An open letter to friends

Life is challenging at the moment and it’s difficult and painful.

You talk about being conscious of not overwhelming me and friends because life is difficult.

And yet.

Coping with being overwhelmed by sadness and pain is my responsibility and not yours. I can decide to not engage with you. I can decide to remove myself. I can decide that whatever is going on in my life means I am not able to support you and that is okay and it’s also my decision and my responsibility.

When you go on a plane the safety briefing talks about you putting your breathing mask on before looking after others. So when you talk to me, I think about whether I have enough resilience to cope with your pain as well as my own. And if i do then I accept your pain and you should accept that.

I guess there is so much pain at the moment and shame and vulnerability and guilt and all the other emotions we are conditioned to view as ‘bad’ and ‘negative’ and ‘not acceptable’. Yet I’m here. I say to you ‘let it all out, I am resilient enough to cope and if i can’t I will tell you’.

Because that’s friendship. That’s connection. And that is love.