So, it’s my birthday tomorrow. I’ll be the ripe old age of 32.
When I was little being 30 sounded so old and ancient. I had a plan that by the time I was 30 I would be married, have my own house and have at least one child. So far I have managed to achieve one of those. As I approached my 30th birthday some of my time was spent thinking about what I hadn’t managed to achieve rather than what I had achieved.
I don’t own my own house and I’m not likely to for the foreseeable future and I don’t have children. Once 30 hit I realised I hadn’t made any plans for the rest of my life and…I decided not to. What makes us look at our lives and try to set targets and life plans when we don’t know what will happen or when? I know how fragile life can be and how it can be taken away at any moment so I thought right, that’s it no more planning. That was really hard for a natural planner and I do catch myself out sometimes trying to put target dates on things!
So, what have I achieved? I have a lovely husband who is awesome and very supportive. I have retained some close friends from school and university whilst also making some new ones. I don’t have children but I am godmother to two lovely children who I am very proud of. I don’t own my own house but I rent a flat in the middle of the city which enables me to travel wherever I need to go. I have a job that I love, after spending most of my 20’s in jobs that I felt I ought to love rather than genuinely loving. Most of all I think my thirties have given me the kind of self confidence I could only dream of when I was in my twenties. I do still doubt myself sometimes but on the whole, particularly when surrounding myself with my friends, I feel so much more confident when I am out and about. I think for me my 20’s started to shape me but my 30’s define me.
My nan was in her 80’s when she passed away and one of the things I loved about her was her ability to say something that was a bit ‘naughty’ and completely get away with it! Having awareness about issues in the world is important and some things that are ‘politically correct’ are right to be brought into the arena but sometimes life is so constrained by policies and procedures that people seem to forget that we are all people that have to share this world and sometimes it’s just about going with your gut feeling and saying what you think whilst being prepared to take into account people’s feelings and emotions. I love it when people surprise me by doing something or reacting in a completely different way even though it can throw a curveball at me sometimes.
In conclusion, whilst I don’t want to wish my life away, here’s to my 30’s and my 40’s and my 50’s…here’s to throwing away plans and being more relaxed!